Inspired Living Books
The Uses of Sadness: Why feeling sad is no reason not to be happy
Karen Masman
Being sad doesn't necessarily mean you're depressed. Discover how much sadness can do for you creativity, your future, your relationships, your work, your dreams.
Most of us have bouts of unexplained sadness. Just because we feel sad doesn't mean something is wrong. It may be a time to reassess our goals, to have some down time. It may signal a time of transition, a shift in our identity. The Uses of Sadness helps us understand the nuances of sadness, and how it differs from depression. Sadness helps us access a deeper part of ourselves. As we then become a little bigger, wiser and more compassionate than we were, our lives are enriched and we in turn enrich the lives of others.
Purchase The Uses of Sadness on the Allen & Unwin website
Q&A with Karen Masman
Q: Why did you write this book? Have you had a lot of sadness in your life?
A: I would describe myself as a deeply happy person, so writing a book called The Uses of Sadness may seem like an odd thing to do. While being aware of living a truly fortunate life, I am drawn to the mystery of sadness. For me, learning to digest sadness is a fundamental part of learning the art of making happiness. Looking back through my toppling stacks of journals and notebooks I see that I have been exploring this gentle art of sublimation for many years.
I am very grateful to say that the sadness I have experienced has not been the outcome of traumatic events, but rather the everyday challenges of living, loving, longing and letting go. And what a journey that is; there’s more than enough difficulty—and joy—right there!
When we refuse to accept any mood other than a superficial ‘everything’s perfectly ok and see me smile’ because we have made sadness wrong and even shameful, then we do not allow ourselves access to the deepening power of soulful sadness, and a dry, brittle depression or a serious addiction can easily be the result. In my experience, soulful sadness is part of creating a deeper emotional intelligence; it is one of the flavours to cook with, to grow with. This is why I wanted to explore it and write about it.
Q: What is the difference between sadness and depression?
A: As a society we often confuse the two and think that sadness is depression. Increasingly we are reaching for medical solutions whenever sadness arises. While depression is a serious and wide-spread illness that deserves professional care, sadness is not depression. Sadness is an emotion and it is a healthy and appropriate response to experiences of loss and disappointment, whether personal or global. In the face of the loss of species, war and cruelty, why would we not feel sad? And deep within our being as we face disappointments and shed ideas, relationships and dreams that can no longer sustain us, sadness helps us gather the momentum for change. We can allow our times of sadness to deepen our connection with ourselves and others, and lead us to insights and appropriate action.
Paradoxically, it is through embracing and accepting our times of sadness that we are able to flow through them more fluidly. It is when we are resisting and recoiling from those times that we can more easily get stuck and freeze into depression. Learning how to digest sadness with a generous heart and keen perception, yet without self-indulgence, is part of learning how to be happy.
However, sad times can be very dark and sometimes help is needed to find a chink of light. An important skill in anyone’s ‘sadness repertoire’ is recognising when you need help and knowing how to ask for it. There aren’t any hard and fast rules about how to navigate sadness. No one else can really judge what effort and skill is being applied by another, or where their breaking point is. The more you come to know yourself as you travel within the spectrum of sadness, the more you will trust your own judgment about what is healthy and life-giving for you. I hope that the cycle of soulful sadness offered in this book will assist people to get to know their own territory of sadness better, and become more skilful at extracting its gifts—and that includes knowing when help is needed.
| ISBN: | 9781741757576 |
| Australian Price (inc. GST) | $24.95 |
| Format | Paperback |
| Number of Pages | 208 |
| Australian Publication | March 2009 |
| Publisher | Allen & Unwin |
Reviews
"To most of us, sadness and other apparently negative emotions are something to be got over.
Masman writes that sadness doesn't necessarily mean that you're depressed.
'While recoiling from sadness is not the best way to deal with it, this book also shows that holding on to it for too long is also not a good idea.
'It could be a wake-up call about a relationship or a career, time to reassess goals, relax more or make an important transition,' Masman says.
'When we are open to what sadness can offer, it helps us become a little bigger, wiser, and more compassionate.'
Be comforted to know that sadness is a natural part of being human." - review by Martin Stevenson, Launceston Examiner
